7.16.2011

Track # 9. Breathing.

Isn’t it funny. You’re driving down the road, lots of noise and chatter in the car. And then a song comes through the speakers—a song that throws you back to some point in your life. And it feels like a memory, for just an instant, is alive. Unfolding right before you.

I’m pretty sure I could write the story of my life out in lyrics. Lyrics from the songs that played on repeat for a month in my life. A special piece of music that marked an event or events way back when. Even the songs I dislike. Like the one that played over and over again while I was counter girl at the local farm and garden store (It’s Your Love, Tim McGraw and Faith Hill)... That one annoys the *crap* out of me—but it’s there. That farm and garden store. The fantastic smell of fertilizer made from every kind of animal poop imaginable. The speaker I hated to talk into. Especially when I stuttered into it. Yeah...all of it floods back.

I love that about music. It really does get into your soul. Kind of weaves its way through your whole person.

I started thinking about the different songs that do that time warp thing for me. If I categorized them, there would be playlists titled everything from Top 20 Country Countdown in Living Room on Friday Nights with Brother and Sisters to Songs I Dance Awesome to in My Head. (Key words there—in my head.) I couldn’t figure out how to share all the more meaningful ones with you in a single post. So, I might re-visit this sort of thing here and there. I like sharing things like this because it’s nice to write something real once in a while. Take a break from cute crafts and outfit posts and share a little bit more. So, the song I am choosing first would be off my playlist called Phil. It is titled Breathing, by Lifehouse.

So...Where to start?

I’m 21.
In my bedroom. In New Jersey.

Never ever been in love. Not ever.

Until right now...talking to a guy. A Marine.
Stationed in California.

Who I ‘ve seen all of once.
But talk to every night. EVERY night.

Phone bills are outrageous. Phone cards last a couple days. And we are always 3 hours off.

Our lives never meet up—not even on the clock. So, he seems unreal at times. Because he is eating dinner, and I’m in bed. And he is fast asleep while I’m going out the door to work. But that phone is all we have. So we spend hours on it. Hours and hours and hours.

Two weeks into our official (distance) relationship, we both know—know—we are gonna get married. It’s not even like he asked me. No proposal. I never asked him. We just were like—yeah, we are soooooo getting hitched. I like that there wasn’t that moment—the question. There was never a question. Not for either of us. So, we just kept talking and laughing. And he was everything to me.

I saw him four times. Four times before September 11, 2001. It had been almost exactly 10 months since our first date. A blind date. I knew I liked him instantly, even then. I can remember clearly thinking, He has terrible fingernails. Bitten down. And a little dingy.

I think I may have loved him right then and there.

We weren’t sure what the following year would bring for his unit. And the phone thing wasn’t cutting it. Not anymore. I wanted to go on dates. Just eating a meal with him seemed dreamy. He wanted to hang out. Just sit. Next to each other. With no good bye looming over us. So.

He got 10 days worth of leave.

And, with the help of my siblings keeping a huge secret and his sister Kim helping us plan, he came home.
We surprised our parents. His dad initially thought he went AWOL. I remember his face. That still makes me laugh. My parents cried. I was the oldest and first to leave.

And we threw a small, quiet wedding in 3 days.

Then we drove back to Cali. Two newlyweds. Ready to start...well, dating;)

I listened to Lifehouse every night after I hung up the phone those months of long-distance love. I fell asleep to my walkman in my ears. Playing the whole No Name Face album. If I could pick one song that summed up that ritual...talking, saying good bye, and then laying there—wishing I could hear him just one more time that night—it would be this one. (I felt like every word in this song was a stolen thought from my heart.)


Breathing. I use to pray that if God would just find a way for us to be together, I would never take Phil for granted. Never.

Well, we’ve been married for over nine years. And he is still my whole world. And, on those days when I forget that prayer, this song reminds me. To be thankful that he is right here. And I can listen to him breathe every night.

16 comments:

  1. this is sweet. and deep, and lovely.
    we should never take anything for granted but too often we forget that.

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  2. Wow, this is such a beautiful story. :)
    Love isn't always conventional, but it doesn't matter. It's love so it can't be wrong.

    I love listening to songs that have a specific meaning and memory. Whenever I hear "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run, I remember trecking through snow to my husband's (then boyfriend's) house and we fell alseep together cuddled in bed. I woke up for a only a minute, but I remember seeing the sun shine through the window, and feeling so warm. It was a perfect moment- I could hear him breathing next to me and for that moment I was so certain about everything. It was just... perfect.

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  3. I love Lifehouse. I was bullied in high school. I used to cuts and do such stuffs. And then I found their song, "Simon". Everytime I listened to these lines:

    Don't believe the lies that they've told you
    Yeah not one word was true
    You're alright, you're alright, you're alright

    I got a little bit better. They helped me get through that worst phase in my life. I'm a lot better now in college, but everytime I hear "Simon", I burst into tears :')

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  4. I was almost in tears reading this. It's such a special story.

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  5. well that actually made me cry. I'm a sucker for a love-story.
    music can be so evocative, the radio station I listen to in the car plays music from the 70's, 80's and 90's as well as modern day stuff and it's amazing how something you thought was long-forgotten can suddenly be so vivid once more
    Debz
    x

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  6. AMAZING post!!! What a beautiful and unique love story!! I love it!

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  7. that is a beautiful story indeed! so glad you have special memories and music to take you there!

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  8. What an incredible story, thank you so much for sharing it with all of us. I, too, lived and breathed the No Name Face album many moons ago. It's great to listen again - makes me want to go dig out all of my old CD's from back in the day. =)

    PS - How cool is it that you have a storybook romance in real effing life? Thanks for reassuring me that it's still possible. <3

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  9. Really love your little story. Reminds me of my man and I.... such a "different" type of relationship in the morning but yall knew it was meant to be.... :) :) Sea Marie

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  10. Beautiful, how you tell this story, your story!
    I wish for you both many more lucky married years!

    Welmoed

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  11. I was hanging on every word - & had to check your dates - we're within months of each other's wedding. He was a customer in the bookshop where I worked part-time, he offered to help me with New Testament Greek, 7 months later we were married.
    Take care both of you.
    Much love
    Paula (PEP)

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  12. Krista,

    What a special memory and a treasure to hold in your heart forever!

    And your heart will sing with the joy of such love!
    Your Soul will chorus the joy and memory to echo your contentment!

    Have a great weekend

    Take care
    Casper
    xxx

    Be happy , joyful and content in your special Bond!

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  13. I LOVE your story! Me and my husband have a similar one, married after dating for a short time. I love whirlwind romances that work. I feel that when you know you just know...
    www.awesomely-awkward.com

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  14. Ironic how I just read this post. I am currently in NC for an issue with my ex-boyfriend and have been since July 25th. My fiance is in Colorado and I only have a month left until I can finally go back with my son. Songs, phone calls and video chats have kept us sane during this time and I cannot wait to be with him again alongside my son.

    I can feel you on how you felt with your man. Nothing but wanting to be next to him all the time that you could possibly be allowed. :]

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  15. Krista, I love your story. My husband and I have been married for 18 years now and our story is a bit unconventional, as well. hee hee We were the best of friends for a few months before he kissed me. Within 3 months of that first kiss, we moved in together and I was pregnant. We were married a year later and had another baby the following year. We've never looked back - it just felt right. From the moment we met, I couldn't imagine my life without him. We've been through an awful lot together and I wouldn't change a thing. Thanks for sharing your story, it made me smile. And this song rocks - LOVE his voice. :) xo

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  16. I have tears rolling down my face as I am sat up awake in bed reading this and listening to my husband breathe - still asleep... He is my world and my rock - my constant. He's been fantanstic these last 3 years since I got ill - and looks after me so well.

    I also have to smile because at the same time, our little dog is at the bottom of the bed snoring - peacefully, rescued from a time when he was caged 23 hours of 24 each day and abused. He was still only 5 months old when we had, no, when we saved him.

    Life is more perfect and more constant that we give it credit for sometimes. Thank you for reminding me.

    The tears are still rolling....

    Paula x x x

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