8.09.2012

Hearing the Truth.

 
 
 
 
I've played sports throughout my life.  I love sports.  Like, really, really love 'em.  I'd rather go to a ballgame and have a beer and a pretzel than a romantic dinner.  I listen to more sports radio than any music station.  And, given the chance, I'll pick up a hockey stick in a second.  Also, I can beat Phil at tennis (sometimes:).

And now, our kids are at the age where we can enjoy them play.  
And I love this, too.  

Philly started playing football for the first time last week.  
The first couple practices were hard-- but fun.  He was pumped.  Mr. Football.  

Then he had to put on the pads and helmet...for the entire practice.
And my big man lost it.  

He spent the first pads practice in tears.  It wasn't like he was noticeably crying...just kind of sniffling and quietly sobbing in his helmet.  It was pulled too tight on his head, so it gave him a really bad headache.  Pretty sure half the team was feeling the same.  Player after player running by with tears running down their little cheeks. It took everything in my power not to run out there and pull that helmet off...scoop him up and take him home.  It broke my heart.

And then it got better.

Next practice, Phil fixed the helmet straps and he was good...no headache.  Still needed some time to get use to the pads and heat.  It really is exhausting for a 6 year old.  

And then he had Tuesday's practice.  Feeling fine.  Getting use to it...but my boy was zoned out.  Not into the practice.  Not paying attention.  No hustle.  No effort.

And I sat there watching him.  Feeling my blood getting hotter and hotter...and wondering how we should approach this lack of effort.  We had not hit this bump in parenting before.  Never had to address it...

In one week, we had gone from excited, to feeling terrible for him, back to excited, then disappointed.  I know.  He is only 6.  But I really don't believe it is ever too early to drive home the points of giving 100%...working hard for your team...playing your best because God gave you abilities and talent (and two arms and two legs) and that is your responsibility.  Not every kid has the opportunity to play sports...so why is my child wasting it?  Even if it is only one practice.  

Sitting there, wondering how to fix this problem, I remembered my dad talking to me after one of my 'bad efforts.'  I don't remember what sport it was...what game...what opponent.  I just remember being in the van, driving  home afterwards.  He told me, plain as day, that I sucked that game.  He saw absolutely no effort...nothing to be proud of.  And to get my butt in gear.

I think that is when my mom told him he was being mean:)...and looked back and said, "you did fine."  My mom loves everything I do:).  My dad, though, had rocked my world.  And I felt so disappointed in myself.  So sorry I had let him down.

And then I knew what Philly needed to hear.  Granted, his week had been hard. And he is a little guy, still learning.  But I think kids can hear the truth-- they don't always need to be told, 'great job.'  The bad effort should not be ignored.

Phil, Philly, and I stayed on the field and had a long talk after practice.  He cried.  I almost cried.  We told him he wasted our time that night.  We were disappointed in him...that the players who succeed and make great teammates are not necessarily the ones with the best skills.  It will be the kid who has the most drive.  Who cares about his time on the field.  Who thanks God for his talent by playing to the best of his ability.  That gives glory to our Creator.  

I snuggled him lots that night.  Made sure he knew that the only reason we were disappointed was because we care about him.  We want him to succeed.  We want him to understand--right now at age 6--how to be a great player...and it has nothing to do with his skill level and everything to do with his heart.

 
And yesterday, Philly played his heart out.  His coach even came over after practice and told us how great he is doing:).  Philly got the message...a message 15 years in the making:).

Thanks, dad, for being honest.  
Even a little hard on me.

It was something I needed to hear.  
Something Philly needed to hear.
And it worked:).

Have you parents come across this in your children's sports yet?
How do you handle it?
I love to read about your families...
and how you handle life's difficult lessons:)!

43 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing your post. I have to agree. Kids need to hear the truth at times if they're going to learn to continue improving themselves. Life is hard and it's better they learn to handle the truth now rather than when they enter the 'real world'.

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  2. OMG, this made me tear up! What a wonderful story and I'm sure you have given Philly a great gift that he'll remember when he gets older. TFS Krista!
    ;)

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  3. We honestly cannot do sports at our house. My oldest has severe asthma and allergies that, until this past year, were uncontrolled to the point of scary. My youngest had Kawasaki Disease and has to see a pediatric cardiologist the rest of his childhood. No sports until he gets a stress test, which isn't until the teen years. It's been hard because they see the other kids play sports and they want to.
    My oldest is starting piano lessons this year though. We just picked up the digital piano. I imagine we'll be having a similar conversation at least once regarding practicing daily. The youngest, we still have to find something he is interested in.
    Personally, I think it's a good lesson. To learn to do your best. Sometimes it just sucks because you're tired or you don't feel like it, but I think it makes you feel better about yourself if you know that you did your absolute best each time!

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  4. This is difficult....I guess I'm different when it comes to sports. I feel as a whole Sports are supposed to be fun, and I think sometimes folks take the fun out of it because they make it life or death. I feel when you do something you need to do it full out, but also it should not be stressful, it should be fun for everyone. I see parents hollering at their children and really giving them what for over sports, and it upsets me I guess. Kids want to do sports or band or things like that, but once they get into it, they either love it or hate it. It takes giving them a chance to see if it's what they want to do..I know even though parents love sports, sometime the kids don't. I know one of my grandson's Ben, loves football and he's a tough cookie...he lives and breathes it, but his daddy can't afford to keep in in it. So yes, some kids are lucky and get to play :O) What I wanted for my kids, was not what they wanted, I found out the hard way....so it's up to the parents and the kids to figure it out...everyone has a different outlook on it, so you will get tons of different views. All I can say is pray about it and God will give you the answers that are right for you!!! Hugs! Leah Ann

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    1. i agree Leah-- parents should never make it something that is not fun for kids! i think that is a sad thing, when wanting your child to succeed means more than his/her enjoyment and happiness!!

      we expect the 100% effort...but tried our best to explain it from a place of love.

      great comment...i love to read everyones point of view-- it is what makes the world interesting!!:)

      thanks, friend!
      xx

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    2. I totally agree with Leah. Well said x

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  5. Great post, Krista, and yes, I've come across it with my boy. It's just me and him, his father hasn't bothered with him for years, so I'm mum and dad. I've always told him to do his best, no matter what it is in, Sport or school, if he can come back to me and say "I tried 100%, gave it my best" then I told him I would always be proud of him. But there have been times when I knew he didn't do that, sometimes with his school work and sometimes in Sport, and I'd tell him, I'd say "You know you could have done better, I know it, you know it." I'd repeat it all, "Always try your best, give 100%" making sure he got it, and he does each and every time. Whether it's at school (he's nearly 14 so will start making exam decisions soon) or in his horse riding (he wants to be a jump jockey) I keep telling him, "Do your best, Son, give it 100%". That's all I can do, it's up to him to carry it out! Take care Zo xx

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  6. aw, i totally agree Zo!...it doesn't matter to me how good my kids are at sports, just that they truly give it their all. every time. i think your mantra there is great advice and your son is lucky to have you. sounds like you have raised a fantastic boy!!
    xx

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    1. Aw thanks Krista, he is and I am so lucky to have him. I am thankful for that every day. Niamh and Philly seem to be such super children too, and you and Phil are doing a grand job there. Another thing I say which always makes Keagan (my boy) laugh is " Be a goat, not a sheep!" Because goats do their own thing, they aren't easily lead and do not follow the crowd, like sheep do! I say have the confidence to do your own thing, be your own person and make your own choices and decisions. :0)Take care, love to you all. Zo xx

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  7. I had very similar conversations with both of my children who were competitive swimmers from the age 5 through high school. I made it quite clear that I was not driving to the pool practices every night and to swim meets that were all over south jersey and delaware for them to socialize on the side of the pool. I never cared if they won, just that they worked hard to improve their own individual times. I also had the same discussion about academics. I wanted to see effort! I always said a c hard earned would mean more to me than the easy A... My daughter FINALLY got that in college her sophomore year. She had a physics class that was kicking her butt and she was ready to throw in the towel. I said absolutely NOT. You get to the professors office, you ask for help you do what you need to do or you are not mature enough to be away at college! You will need to come home to community college next semester if you bomb this class...Well I was so mean, etc, etc, etc...but she went for help, and pulled off a B. It just took honest hard work and she had the ability.

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  8. I am like you, I grew playing sports but my support was opposite yours. My Mom was the one to push me to play better and to work hard. Although at the time I really didn't like her for it but as I got older and especially now, I think her every single day that she pushed and pushed and made me complete something and work hard for it. I work around college athletes today and see they are treated like fragile glass and rewarded even when they don't play or work hard. I see them give up because they "didn't know it would be this hard" - I want and tell my kids when they start something, finish. If you want that reward, you better play 110% and put forth your best effort.

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    1. agree Carol:)...110% effort is something that everyone should work for, whether you are a kid or a college athlete! My dad definitely pushed me to do my best-- my mom, too-- and in those lessons I probably grew the most as a person.

      great comment!
      xx

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  9. Please be careful. I know parents know their children better than anyone else - I know that. But I also am a family member of someone who grew up with parents who instilled doing your best and she did, yet even when she did, they would tell her she was a failure, or wasted their time. She grew up with low self esteem and when those words came back to haunt her, tried to commit suicide.

    Sports isn't for everyone. Neither is art, music, etc. Everyone has their own hobbies, their own talents. Telling a 6-year-old that they wasted your time... What will he think, when he's older and pondering his childhood? Will he remember those words? Will they push him into depression or motivate him? Maybe they will motivate him. Or they will haunt him and he'll vow to never be like that. What would you rather have?

    He's 6. I'm in my 20s, and I'm affected poorly by the heat. If I tried to put on gear of any sort and do a sports activity, I would probably pass out. I nearly did in day clothes, just at an outdoor market, waiting in line.

    Please remember, your son while small, is a human being and will have a future. Think about what you say now. Because your words, the words of his parents, are what he'll remember.

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    1. We believe in 100% effort. I think it is a matter of how you present it to a child, and we sat on the field that night till almost everyone else had left and explained to him why it is important to give your best effort. It builds you into a better athlete, a better teammate, and even more important, a good human being. Wanting our kids, even at a young age, to value their attitude and what their actions say about them, will not lead them into depression.

      I appreciate your concern and your point of view. While I do not think you described our lesson accurately, I can see how someone can take sports too far. I want Philly (and Niamh) to be thankful for their abilities and show the Lord that gratefulness by playing to His glory-- which means listening to coaches, being coachable, and always doing their best. We are all investing hours each night into practice. Philly needs to invest his own effort as well:).

      And he learned a good lesson Tuesday night. It showed when he practiced Wednesday. He worked hard at every play. Every moment. And that made HIM feel good, not just us.

      Thank you again for your comment. While I don't understand how some of it applies to this post, I do value your point of view and your experiences. I welcome that-- as I can learn as well.

      xx

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  10. Attitude and Effort!!! Its what we teach our kids when they play sports. Go big or go home!!!
    Its what we told Gianna throughout all her years of volleyball and its what we tell Tristan during Baseball season. Its hard to be honest when they are sucking, but how does it help them if we tell them they did great when they really didnt??? If we tell them they did great then they would never put any effort in. So kudos to you and phil as parents. I think he will try even harder now. If my kids started a season, we didnt let them quit in the middle. They had to finish the season no matter what. They couldnt let their teamates down. And if they chose not to play the following year that was ok. But every year they came back andl played hard.
    I believe in how you handled it. You are great parents regardless.

    Gabbi

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    1. that is how i grew up, too...we NEVER stopped half way through anything. weren't allowed. and i'm thankful for those lessons as an adult...they still remind me of why kind of person i want to be...

      'Go big or go home!!' Gonna save that one for a game:)...love it!
      xx

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  11. Good for you in having enough love for your son to tell him the truth. It's hard on us and breaks our hearts, but it's so much better on them to be honest with them. If we can't trust their love for us is strong enough to hear and handle the truth from us, we've failed somewhere as a parent. My girls moved around a lot and were in and out of sports their entire lives. A physical ability can be taken away in one second, but their character remains with them their entire life. My girls ability to get out there and give 100% even if their physical ability wasn't up to par with the others still let their loving personalities that God gave them shine through and that had more of an impact on others than how many points or goals they could score. Bless his little heart. That's a boy who listens and learns from his parents. Be proud of all of you.

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  12. isn't it amazing how your attitude and personality can make such an impact on a field/court?! i agree completely! and truth is okay and important:)... it is what builds them into caring people who appreciate even the little things in life!

    i want my kids effort to speak volumes of them as people, you know?...

    it sounds like your girls are amazing...and had a wonderful perspective from their mom! xx

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  13. This story is so endearing, and one that I can relate to. My boys are in their teens and have played sports year round since they were 5 and 6. I think the biggest message we've tried to pass on to them is that when you make a commitment to someone/team, than you follow through. Even on days that you just don't have it in you, it isn't always about you. The team counts on you to be there and to support them. To this day my boys have such a passion for their sports and camaraderie with their teammates. Seeing them push themselves on the field, doing something they love is an incredible feeling as a parent. Good luck with Philly's football season. As a mom to three football players, this is one of my most favorite times of the year :)

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  14. I agree up to a point. My brother, as a young child, to want to sign up for sports teams but sometimes, if he didn't get the position he wanted or got bored, he would want to quit or not play his best. My dad never let him quit. Once you make a commitment to be a part of the team, you need to do so to the best of your ability for that season. I agree that it shows strength of character to finish out a season. However, I do feel that once the season is over and a child decides not to sign up next year because he or she did not enjoy it - the parent should be OK with that decision (as long as the child is doing something he/she enjoys - sports/music/art, etc.) Sometimes it takes the awhile to find the right fit for a child.

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  15. I wish my english was better, and I could answer with more precise words. But I can say that your message touched me. and this truth is not only good to say, with regards to sports, but I would say in everything you do! cardmaking, coloring included. thank you for your message Krista. you touched my heart. I so wish I would have had those words, and such experience when I faced similar situation with my kids, now men. but... it is never too late. I will remember your message. and I love the part where you say 100% effort, it is not the talent that is important, it is what you do with it, this is the message I got, when I was a child, and I tried to transmit it to my own kids ; however, I don't think my words were as well chosen as yours. Thank you. you made my day. Hugs.

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  16. Oh my, I so relate to this story Krista ... Ellie gives her all at EVERYTHING she does and is stoic in failure and accepts critiscm and listens. Beth - well she strops!!! Doesn't listen, won't try and drives me mad!!!! She is a briilaint swimmer when she applies herself and er teacher would love to consider her for squad swimming - BUT Beth does what Beth wants!! It breaks my heart as Ellie would relish her talent.

    All I can do is remind Beth that she has a God given talent and she needs to appreciate it ... she is special for it - but if she abuses it God will give it to someone else, because while he is all loving he also teaches us lessons!!

    Philly will get there - he's learned the first leson. As parents the hardest thing is to let go and trust our children to someone else's guidance and care - he will love and respect his coach and training will be good xxx

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  17. This story brought tears to my eyes. What wonderful parents you both are! To care enough about your child's future, his contribution to the world around him...that you would actually take the time to explain to him the value of his God-given talents. Your little man will one day thank you for it...and he will raise his own babies to do the same. Parenting win.

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  18. Such a touching story, Krista....loved reading it!!!!
    You are excellent parents...BRAVO for teaching your child an important lesson in life!!!! Yes, I got teary eyed!

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  19. I'm with you. If you choose to do something, you give it 110%! My 7 year old is one of the shyest kids you will EVER meet. (to the point where it looks rude, but she is truly terrified.) When she said she wanted to play soccer, I was super worried about how that was going to go down. You really have to be aggressive in soccer, Maddie is not aggressive, or so I thought. I had several conversations with her before she even went to her first practice, that she was going to need to be able to "mix it up" out there with those other girls. I also explained the difference between being aggressive in a sport, and just plain mean. Her first game rolled around, and I have to say she blew me away!!! (think she even surprised herself a little) Now she plays softball as well! I think the many talks we had before hand really helped to prep her for what was ahead.

    Philly will have the advantage learning this now, rather than later.

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  20. As someone who figure skating for YEARS, and did dance for YEARS, at a very very high level, and ultra competitively... I completely agree. And I had heard over those years many days when my parents were disappointed in my effort. And when my coaches were disappointed in my effort. And really, I was too when I they said something and I thought about how lazy I had been that practice, or that week.
    I've also been through this with my now 11yr old. She naturally excells at certain things - is truly gifted in them. Figure skating (like her mama) and cello are the main two. But as good as she is at them, she lacks the heart and desire to do them. We went through many talks of "I'm disappointed in your effort." and "I *KNOW* you can do better than that. I don't see you even really trying!" before we, as a family, finally decided that figure skating wasn't the sport for her, no matter how naturally gifted she is at it. And playing the cello isn't for her, regardless of her ability to just pick it up. She quit both of them a few years ago. ...and guess what she now wants to do! BOTH of them! HA! Maybe she finally has the heart and can put the natural talent to use?! We'll see.
    I definitely think you and Phil did the right thing in having a talk with Philly. It's not always easy to hear. Or fun. But sometimes it is just what you need. Don't be surprised if you have to do it again in the near future. <3

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  21. My step-son Tyler went through something like this...but he was older, a sophomore in high school, much to the disappoint,ent of his father who was huge in sports as a kid. But after signing up and playing for a few weeks he decided he wanted to quit because it was too much effort and he sucked at it...we sat him down and basically did what you did...told him that he made a decision, a promise to the coach and needed to buck up, and keep after it. So what if you suck now...if you don't give up and keep trying you willget better...he became a starter..and in basebal became the catcher...he know is glad he didn't give up and did give it his all. Sports changed his time in high school...even became home coming king his senior year. I am like you..give me a game and me in jeans than a fancy table cloth and me in heels! I think you were lucky to have had the parents you did! And you are one heck of mom and your hubby one heck of a dad!

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  22. After reading your post at work, I wanted to share how much I agree with you. I can't put into words the amount of emotional pain our family has endured over the past 12 years which could have been avoided had our eldest chose to do the right thing rather than doing the wrong things and suffering the consequences. Our children are our future and they need to "be there" for themselves, but knowing they always have an unconditionally loving Father, family and audience depending on them to always do their best. May God Bless!

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  23. Really great post Krista. Our kids are in sports for the first time this year too. Brucey is also in football and it IS hard for them! The heat, all that gear! And Poor Brucey has had many tears too.

    But we have been honest with him too about giving it his all. Granted he is VERY shy and at first was a little awkward and we could tell he didnt give his best because he was nervous and seemed very unsure of what to do. But we talked to him too.. telling him we KNOW he could do better... we have SEEN him outrun his older sister and charge daddy to the ground. We knew he could do it.
    I agree they need to hear the truth and I love how you put it about using our abilities to praise and glorify God. After all He did give them to us. ♥

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  24. Oh how glad I was to read your little story here, cause I think, everything has gone way too soft with the kids and young ones these days, and noone seems to teach them anymore, that if you´ve said A, you also have to say B and fullfill what you´ve started. I can´t count, how many times I´ve been tols I was mean to my kids, when I said, they was only allowed to go to one thing at a time, and what wever they chose, they had to do 110%. It was okay, if they one year tryed something, they didn´t like, IF they fullfilled that year and gave it a fair chance, but I didn´t want to see them go twice and then just say I don´t like this and then quit, cause they don´t know that fast, if they´ll be good at this or not, just trying twice. I can´t count how many kids, I´ve seen doing this in all these years.
    I´m sure, it´s the right thing, you´re doing too, as it teach them not to quit and things don´t just pop in by it self, but takes an effort and some hard work, but if you really want it, everything is also possible, if you´re ready to do what it takes to get it. It warmed my heart, when I´ve seen my kids grow up and see, how far they´ve come and then see where all the other kids stopped, who had the weak parents, who thought they was oh soo good to their kids. My youngest son have just celebrated his 10 years anniversary with his own compagny, that he has build up with his bare hands,and doesn´t owe a single penny on, and which he started in the age of 19. How many young people do that? None of those with the weak parents, I can tell.
    I´ve always told my kids, that they wasn´t their mums kids for nothing, and there was nothing in the entire world, they couldn´t do, if they wanted it and was willing to work hard for it and give themself 110%, and as long as they did that, I would back them up another 110%. But if I saw they didn´t give all they could, they shouldn´t expect anything from me either, cause I wouldn´t waste any of my time of something, they didn´t even went for wholehearted themself LOL.
    So yes you are definitely doing right Krista, when you teach them to always go into everything fullhearted and finish whatever they start, cause even they quit after the seaason, they´ve got the satisfaction of finishing it even they didn´t like it, and learned, that we all have to finishe things we don´t like through life too. So keep up the great job, you´re already doing now. I know, it´ll make you as proud a mum as I am some day and sooner than you think.

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    1. you sound just like my husband:)...great comment:).
      sounds like you have raised some amazing, hard-working kids!!

      xx

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  25. Hi Sweetie,

    My boys have all grown up now, 3 my birth children and one my step son who i brought up from little and he's every bit mine.......he's in the armed forces and has been for 6years, my other two sons are off doing their own things, and my 24yr old son who just left home again after a 3 year stay with us, has gone into nursing like his mama, and i can't say they never disappoint me, but i am damn proud of them and love them and God gave them to me and my John to nurture and bring up respectful and good, and they are!!! Your post, i will admit, had me crying, with love and pride, and the fact that even at 6 your Philly has already learn't that doing your best is the best you can do, and trying hard reaps rewards, you're great parents my friend, hugs from one mama to another xxxxVick

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  26. Reading this I never realised how much it would hit home! Kira plays netball and she has so much potential but gives up far to easy and cracks it when things don't go her way. Many people were inpressed by her and think she can go far, but when I got and watch far to often do I see her not putting in as much effort as she can and I know she can do SO much better and after reading this I think I now know what I have to do. Being she is 13 she may not listen 100% but I really hope it gets through. We all grew up playing sport and my brother was a star. Hubby still plays Aussie football every now and then and sport is such an amazing thing for them to learn to play as a team and not as one person.

    Thank you for sharing xx

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  27. I think you were very wise - it is the combination of right encouragement & constructive criticism in a loving environment & the fact that Philly responded that is utterly vital & makes the difference between the child feeling that it's worth trying or not trying for they're a failure anyway - never mind how brilliantly they've tried. I KNOW both points of view from experience & demonstrative love makes the difference. I once sat my Dad down with a cup of tea & we talked & I learnt of his pain at not knowing how to reach me.
    Paula (PEP)

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  28. I've always told my daughter that she'll only get out of life as much as she's willing to put into it. She's made me sooo proud.

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  29. Bravo sister! I think all kids need to learn that lesson....and some parents too. They need to know that not everything in life will be handed to them. You did a good thing!

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  30. It's such a fine line you're treading here, I've been there both in my own life and in my sons lives... You know best how your "lesson" will impact on your son. I grew up after a sister who was a "disappointment" to my parents, and was required to do all the things she had failed to do for them, when I quit University it was made quite clear that I had somehow diminished in their eyes, I am 53 now and I have struggled with that sense of lacking ever since. When my sons wanted to do sport (or clubs) I did have the conversation... many times ... that I was only willing to put in effort if they were, but those choices were theirs not mine so I pointed out that it was their decision that had led us to that point. We often had the "rights and responsibilities" talk in our house, and I now have two very well adjusted, productive and considerate adults to be proud of. When my youngest son was at Uni (his choice, btw) he was the only one in his tute that paid for his own vehicle and entertainment, seriously the ONLY one who had a p/t job too. We call it the fluffy bunny syndrome here, rewarding kids just for "being", giving prizes just for participating. In my opinion that's okay for really young kids, but by 6 you can press home the point that the greatest feeling is knowing you've done your best, and getting reward for effort. Please though, be careful that Philly doesn't feel that it is HE that's not good enough for you, that lesson really can stick (what you as an adult take out of it may not necessarily be what a six year old does) and that is his behaviour that you'd like him to address. Raving now, I'll go :-)

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  31. I love this! I love seeing other parents address this in the same way we do with our son:) Children need to hear the truth, know that they need to do their very best. Bravo!

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  32. I absolutely love this post. We will putting our oldest into a spot soon and I will tell him the truth when it comes to how he did. I'm very honest with my kids and refuse to give into what the world says about how you should just pat your kid on the back weather they gave it 100% or not. This was so well written and well said. Ya'll are great parents! :)

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  33. Brilliant Post and a great lesson learnt from your Fathers its amazing how after many years we recall things our Parents said that seemed hard at the time they said them but make perfect sense when we have our own kids!! well done Krista! and WELL done Philly too! I was brought up on give everything you have 100% Effort is Respect to yourself and your team no matter where you are your team is your future... Even your family is your own Team! I always encourage my Son to aim for what he can Achieve! the best of his own ability... Glad to see Philly is Reaching for his own personal GOLD too! hugs me x

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  34. I just purchased your digi called love letter last night but I haven't recieved the link for the product yet.

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  35. I have to say that I was thrilled to read this post! In a world that celebrates mediocrity and gives out awards for showing up, it is nice to see parents who want their kids to understand commitment and putting forth your best effort.

    ReplyDelete

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