1.23.2013

Guest Post, Life of Bon

Why hello there.

The name is Bonnie Blackburn Larsen and writing nonsense is my game.  I’m mostly just a little girl who is all of a sudden a grown, married, working, society-contributing woman who thinks she can still stay up late and shake her booty at night clubs.  But I can't.  My job, where I try to teach high schoolers the difference between a semi colon and a comma, starts at the unforgiving hour of 7 am.  So alas, my days of booty shaking are over. I like ice cold diet cokes and boiling hot baths and stacks of books to read in my blankets when it's pouring rain outside.  I write my blog so that I won’t take life so seriously- it helps me to laugh at the ridiculous and to appreciate the beautiful.  Blog posts vary from avoiding traffic tickets to kitchen catastrophes to dirty conversations overheard in high school bathroom stalls.  You know, the juicy stuff.



I figured if you wanted to hop on over to my blog there's a couple of things I should let you know about me first. You know, those uber essential details that let you know whether it's really worth it to click on over or not.

13 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BON BON

1.  I don't really ever refer to myself as Bon Bon except for, strangely enough, when I am writing on my blog.

2.  I'm working hard on a goal I made a little while ago to make people feel good about themselves.  Sometimes it's easy.  Sometimes it's hard.  Mostly it's hard when the people I am dealing with are idiots.

3.  Below you will see the picture of the guy I married.  His name is Greg.  But don't call him that.  From here on out we refer to him only as Hubs.  All hail Hubs!  We met when I was reading on a balcony and he was walking across the parking lot.  He told me the pink streak in my hair was looking mighty fine and I told him to come up and make me dinner with his shirt off.  Eight months later I was throwing a bouquet. 


5.  Did you notice there's no number 3?  Because I'm a mastermind!

5.  For a living, I teach high school English.  I have to teach high school instead of elementary because a) I don't have patience for little uns b) I don't want to have to pretend I like crappy drawings and c) I don't do snot/pee/poo/tears.

6.  Today in class we heard what appeared to be tribal music coming from the classroom next door.  In a moment of poor instinct I yelled, "Quick!  We need a sacrifice!  We must send over a virgin to sacrifice "  I don't know why that came to my mind, why I blurted it out, and why I thought it was appropriate.  The kids laughed anyway because they think I'm psycho and that would be reason d) why I don't teach elementary school.

7.  I can be bossy.  I blame it on the 16 year olds.  I get used to bossing them around all day that I come home and think I have the right to tell everybody else what to do, too.  It's weird, but people don't like being bossed around.

8.  I have had close to 20 traffic citations. One day I had two tickets within 20 minutes of one another.  Not to mention the boots, the towings, or the parking tickets.  Or the two cars I totaled.  I don't say this because I'm bragging about my bad driving record, but because I am bragging that it has been 20 months since my last ticket. TWENTY MONTHS.  See, people can change!

This was the day I got two tickets.  
One was for going 26 over the speed limit- a $540 fine.  
My lead foot is was expensive!

9.  The worst part of my day is 5:40 am when my alarm clock rings.  If I had known as a college student that I would be waking up at 5:40 am when I had a full time job you better believe I never even would have considered graduating.

10.  The picture below is what my husband looks like when I leave for work in the morning.  Some kind of praying demon?  What think ye?!?


11.  A couple of days ago I was passing out copies of Les Miserables for my seniors to read.  One girl looked at the title and then exclaimed, "Ah, man!  My copy is in Spanish!"  That's been making me smile for going on six days now.

12.  Every year I invest hundreds of hours watching my favorite basketball team, the Utah Jazz disappoint me.   It's not the healthiest thing I've got going on in my life.


13.  I like ladybugs and roses and anything girly.  I eat bowls of cereal with the milk overflowing.  I've got a hot head and a sharp tongue that is rarely controlled.  I've been known to burst into tears for no reason.  I am passionate about reading and writing and reality TV.  Long eyelashes are my guilty pleasure.  On Saturdays I do my best to sleep until noon and when I see old couples holding hands my heart completely melts.  I think painted fingernails are the epitome of femininity and a diet coke the cure to every curve ball life throws at you.  Now come say hi already!

Thank you, Bonnie, for hanging out here today.
You are s hoot, girl:).

*Comments turned off so that you can visit Bon:).

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