Linking up to Mel at Needle and Nest Design today...
Check her out if you want.
She is like total awesome sauce.
I am a mama.
I've grown into those shoes over the years.
It isn't like an instant thing. You gotta learn as you go.
You need to invest in the journey as much as the destination.
I use to grab my wet wipes and de-germ every shopping cart before putting Niamh into it. I would wipe every inch, in case the germs all the way at the end of the basket crawled up to the seat while I was shopping. I would wipe that sucker down sterile.
Then I had Philly.
Sometimes he crawls through the store on all fours.
I had a certain vision of motherhood when it all started 9 years ago--
like, what I thought it should look like...
It was crisp and sparkly. Mr. Cleam sparkly.
It was baked cookies and snot-less kids.
And I would be the super-hero mom that made it all possible.
I'd even do it in cute cardigans and curls.
But over the years, I've realized that the things most important to me as a mom--
...that my children have a deep-rooted love and knowledge of Jesus Christ,
that they put others first,
that they obey, not because they don't want to be punished;
but because they care about their actions,
that they feel safe and free and happy,
that they value family and holidays and traditions,
that they live with purpose and intent...
All these things--
They don't come to fruition because of my own capabilities.
These are my goals for the kids.
They are my prayer.
My plea to Jesus.
Because I know full well that I cannot be the mom I want to be apart from Him.
That is a feeling of relief-- giving my 'mom journey' over to Christ and feeling secure in the knowledge that He will honor my efforts and my heart towards those two goofballs. I know, already, He is alive in them.
Motherhood, for me, is being true to my heart.
Sometimes I might make freakishly disturbing pancakes
And occasionally wonder if Philly ever got his underwear on under his school uniform
Sometimes I allow the kids to stay up late on a school night
And eat dessert before dinner...
Throwing balls in the house is okay
And farting is just plain funny
Some mornings I salute Niamh when I drop her off at school
... just to make her blush in front of her friends because her mom is a total dork
Sometimes I give Philly an overload of hugs and high fives at his classroom
...because I have 'I-need-to-leave-you-now-but-don't-want-to-go-without-one-more-hug' issues.
One thing I know, for sure, is that my kids are growing up slow and good and loved.
And at the end of the day, that is far more important than a clean house or amazing pancakes.
Today the three of us were in the doctor's office because Philly has a sore throat.
Just us and this young, early-twenties girl in the waiting room.
And Niamh was crossing her eyes and making goofy faces at me and Philly.
Philly was laughing too loud for being sick.
And Niamh was loving it.
I told her to stop it or her face would freeze like that.
And she said, so the girl could definitely hear,
"Oh nooooooo, mom. That is not real.
Remember you googled that before to see if it was true?"
I could feel my cheeks get super red. Totally blushed with embarrassment.
What mom googles 'can faces really freeze'?
It is alright. I can own that.
Swallowed my pride in the doctor's office today:)...
And, oh boy.
I cannot wait to salute Niamh tomorrow at school:).
Gonna send that girl to her classroom in style;).